If you try hard enough to be something you aren't, you become that very thing...hopefully.

So, I like to think of myself as an ambivert. Not 100% introvert, but not 100% extrovert either. More like a healthy medium...depending on the day. Sometimes I like to be by myself and other times I can be the life of the party if I want to. Most days, one greatly outweighs the other and that's usually based on my mood. If I feel like I want to be a loner and do my own thing, with me, myself and I, and just don't want to socialize with other people at all (that was definitely a run-on), the intro to extro scale is a good 75/25. There aren't really days where I just want to completely be social and extremely extroverted, but I can get the scale to a good 50/50 sometimes.

Anyway, I said all of that to say that I am an observer. I observe things. It's what I do. I hate to be in the spotlight, I'd much rather be in the background if I can and avoid being the center of attention as much as possible. I pride myself on my keen observational skills. Especially when I'm in a place where I don't feel like I belong, or maybe even in a place I do belong, but I don't know anyone in the room. I am most comfortable standing in the corner of a room and people-watching. I watch their posture, their gestures, what phrases they use the most, how they talk to people, how they respond, who speaks when, and I try to figure out the hierarchy in the room.

 I understand that this blog is supposed to describe a specific anecdote of a time where I had to mushfake and it turned into the real deal, but for me, I kinda feel like "fake it 'til you make it" has become my life's motto. Like for everyday things. When I was a child, and growing up, I was I guess what you could call shy. Okay, not shy, but quiet. Quiet is what I was. 'Til this day I get told that I'm "too quiet." Anyway, I never liked to talk in groups, I hated being called out (still do), and I hated having to socialize with people that I wasn't friends with. I wasn't quiet because I was necessarily scared to speak (although stage fright was a huge deal back then), but it was more so of the fact that I didn't have anything to say. At least nothing of substance, I really don't like small talk.

I realized though, when I was in high school that I was going to have to step out of my shell a bit when I got to college if I ever wanted to meet people, and make friends. That revelation is what sparked my mushfaking years. I've always been described as outgoing by others (I wasn't an outcast, guys, I had friends and stuff, I promise), but I had never really been able to see it in myself. I just always felt like an introvert. Like a complete introvert. When I got to college though, I told myself, "Maiya, you are going to put on a smile, and say hello to people in the hallways, in the elevators, make small talk, and be social, suck it up." That probably wasn't verbatim but you get the point. It wasn't that far off I can tell you that. But, that's what I did, and what I still do. I suck it up, I calm my nerves, give myself some words of encouragement, and I raise my hand in class. I walk confidently down the street with my shoulders back and my head held high, I take note of my posture and try to correct it, if I notice my feet dragging while I walk, I pick them up, I say hello to people in the grocery store and make small talk (which I still despise), I ask the cashiers how their days have been, I give out compliments (like if someone's nail polish is cute or shoes or hair dye or something). Basically, I do everything that I wouldn't have normally done 3 years ago. I try my hardest to exude the confidence that I know I possess so that others can see it too.

My heart definitely still pounds so hard sometimes, depending on the situation-- to the point that I think if I can hear it then everyone else can too-- but I still push the old me out of the box I used to be in...everyday. I do this everyday. I am well on my way to becoming a pro at mushfaking. Because face it, if I didn't explain this just now, most of you would never have known. And over the years, most of this has just become a part of my personality, honestly.

I loved Amy Cuddy's TED talk and I realized that some of the things she was saying about how "our nonverbals govern how we think and feel about ourselves," and how "our behavior changes our minds/outcomes," is so true. Those reasons are exactly why I do what I do. Before watching the TED talk, I thought that I just wanted to mushfake, fake it 'til I made it, but now, I want to "fake it 'til I become it."

Blog #5

When I think about my life and my transition from home to college, it's crazy how much I can relate to Vicki Madden's Why Poor Students Struggle. I grew up in a single parent household from the age of 6 until I left home and although we weren't poor poor, we weren't the richest either. I had a roof over my head and food to eat, provided by my mother's 2 jobs, but we were nowhere near the middle class. And like many other families from low socioeconomic backgrounds, we made it work.

I come from a predominantly Black and Hispanic neighborhood and that is exactly what my entire k-12 life was...Black people and Hispanic/Latino people. The culture that I was immersed in growing up was vast however. I didn't just stay in my neighborhood year round ☺. I’ve been to the 90210, Orange County, China town, out of state, and many other places where I experienced different cultures. But it’s one thing to visit and another entirely to live there. Which is what I found out when I came to college, LOL. Talk about culture shock! Madden says that “the more elite the school, the wider the gap,” (Madden 3) and although SDSU is no Ivy League school, when I came here, it might as well have been.

Entering into the discourse community that is college, I had to learn what the expectations of language, popular slang, academic knowledge, college jargon, and all the other fun stuff that come with being thrown into the deep end entailed. There’s an “unspoken transaction: trading your old world for a new world, one that doesn’t seem to value where you came from” (Madden 4) and that is definitely true especially coming to a school where your race is like 4%. Discourse communities want you to assimilate to whatever culture that community has already set in place. So there was definitely that tug of war on my psyche of what am I doing here? Do I even need college? Of course you need college, Maiya, no one’s gonna take you seriously without a degree! But it’s so expensive! I don’t fit in here at all, like 75% of the school are blonde, white girls. I’m gonna be like the only Black girl in all my classes! What if Financial Aid doesn’t cover everything, I don’t have the money to stay here! If that conversation that I had (entirely in my head btw and went on for much longer) seems very real, it’s because it is. Like Madden said, “If you don’t have $700, it might as well be a million.”

Despite the many struggles I encountered during my transition, one of the most common was changing the language from what I was used to using at home to what was more acceptable for university life, much like, but in many different ways different from what Amy Tan talks about in Mother Tongue. I’m a black girl so I grew up in an English speaking household, but much like Tan explains, I had to decide which of my Englishes were suited for which situations. Mostly socially, rather than academically, I mean I went to high school and wrote academic papers before, so that wasn’t really the issue, but I had different slang that was used in my household that I kind of just assumed everyone else would know. For example, my apartment manager put a note on the door explaining that the water was going to be turned off for a certain time because they were going to be working on the pipes. I was the first to see the note so I told my housemates (who are not Black), “don’t cut the water on, they’re gonna work on the pipes.” Naturally, one would assume that through context clues, the message that I was trying to convey was clear…don’t turn the water on. BUT, apparently using the word ‘cut’ in place of ‘turn’ is not normal. They all stood there and were like “What does that mean, “don’t cut it on?” and “why’d you say “cut?”” I’ve been in college for 3 years and still haven’t figured everything out apparently *Kanye Shrug*. When I go home however, I don’t worry about how I speak or how what I say will be translated in the minds of my family because they speak the same English that I do.

So there are many reasons that poor students struggle, aside from the obvious financial issue and that’s what I love about Vicki Madden’s explanation because “it’s often the subtler things, the signifiers of who they are that cause the most trouble” (3). Language especially, because people view language as a signifier of how intelligent a person may be, like Amy Tan explains numerous times regarding her mother. But, you know what they say…fake it ‘til you make it.

Meme, Myself, and I...

Every time I get on either Facebook, Instagram, or even Snapchat, there are memes everywhere. Like 75% of my timeline is memes. The other 25% consists of a mixture of actual posts, selfies and advertisements that no one cares about…if we’re being honest here. Anyway, I realized, even before this class, that memes were a huge part of society. Not just because they’re funny (most of them) but also because of how real they are. Memes do so much more than just give us a few laughs throughout our days, they spread messages and get all manners of ideas across the world.

I decided to read Knobel and Lankshear’s article Memes and Affinities: Cultural Replication and Literacy Education. It gave me tons of info to write about in this analysis on memes, but the ideas I picked up on the most were about the means in which memes are represented and what that means.

I just want to put it out there that I love memes. They speak to my personality in volumes. Those who know me personally, know that I am a pretty, I guess you can say “sassy” person. I tend to be pretty sarcastic most of the time and I will admit that sometimes you can’t tell the difference. However, that is beside the point. <<<There I go with the tangents again. I love memes because the humor is just so wonderfully sarcastic and completely honest and I can appreciate that. There’s something for everyone in the meme world; everyone can relate to something. BUT, in order to get that “something” from the memes, there needs to be a medium through which they are conveyed.

            It’s crazy to think that memes started gaining popularity through science of all things. I mean, who’d have thunk it? Now we see them in all forms of electronic media. But the manner in which they are presented is only a small part of why memes are so popular. According to Knobel and Lankshear, “Electronic networks, along with personal predilections and interests, provide for propagating and dispersing memes” (1).  This is pretty straightforward if you ask me. Basically, depending on your personality and how you think of things and what you believe to be funny or interesting decided whether or not the meme is seen by others. Because ultimately, we share them.

            This meme right here is one of the realest things I’ve read, and it’s not the first time I have read it either, which speaks to the popularity of the meme. Looking at it, makes me think of the Baseline Characteristics of Memes (2) subtopic in Knobel and Lankshear’s article. The 3 things that make up a “successful” meme are Fidelity, Fecundity, and Longevity. Fidelity refers to all of the wonderful qualities that make it passable as a good meme. Things like the picture, the words used, if there’s a popular phrase in there…anything. Whatever makes you say “This is so funny, I’m going to remember this forever! I’m also gonna screenshot this and share it, so that I’ll have it on my wall for future reference.” If that sounds dangerously precise, it’s because I’ve done it before ☺. Anyway, that’s fidelity. Fecundity…I just want to bring attention to the fact that it is a weird word. I also want to note that it is essentially, how fast the meme spreads. Because you know, the more that word gets around, the more popular you are. Lastly, is longevity. This one has no underlying/ambiguous meaning like the rest of the sneaky points in here. It simply means how long the meme stays popular for. Now I don’t know all of the specifics of this meme, but I do know that the reason it caught my attention—rather than just being on Google—was because 1) I related to it, being that I am a college student and this happens often…sadly. 2) I recognized the old guy from the XX commercials and I realized that this meme is phrased in the same way the old guy phrases all of his commercial lines (not that he writes his own script but you get the point). 3) I even said it in the man’s voice…in my head at least. Those 3 points all speak to the fidelity of this particular meme. As for the other 2 characteristics, I don’t know for sure and I also doubt that there are even stats on this at all, but you understand.

            “To reduce the study of memes to marketing strategies alone is to miss the potential fruitfulness of this concept for understanding mindsets…” (1). This quote just enhances the statement I made earlier about how memes do so much more than sit on the internet and make us laugh. There’s always other interpretations that you can take away from them which is why the table on page 6 regarding the Ideological or Worldview System makes so much sense. It looks into your values and worldviews and beliefs. This system asks the questions of “what deeper meaning is being conveyed?” “What do they tell us about different social groups?” and “what do they tell us about the world or a particular version of it?” For example:

Deeper meaning? This is definitely not just talking about couches, benches, and their varying levels of comfiness. It’s definitely a dig at stoners, or anyone who smokes weed in general or is high. What does this say about different social groups? People who are under the influence have some deep thoughts apparently. And lastly, what does this tell us about the world? Maybe we should all think like this and the world will be a better place.

            Anyway, to end this blog entry, I’d like to post this meme that I think is pretty funny. It at least gave me a few chuckles☺

Genre Awareness

As I began to write this blog entry, it literally took me a good 20 minutes to even think of the introduction sentence. The idea of writing something that calls for an academic response in blog form confused the heck out of me. I couldn’t understand how to make this sound like a blog entry rather than an academic essay. Then, I thought, why not just share my trouble with writing this, I think that sounds blog-ish. The very fact that I had a bit of difficulty beginning to write this speaks to the ideas Devitt explains in her article. She explains in the very beginning, that “Even within composition, teachers often see the power of genres to inhibit creativity more than the power of genres to reveal constraint” (337), and I completely get what she’s saying. Genres and their ideologies automatically stick us in a box. It doesn’t really have anything to do with creativity being stunted by genres. As a matter of fact, I don’t even think that you can stunt creativity with genres because you are given everything you need from the beginning. You already know exactly what you are supposed to do, and stepping out of that box, goes against the ideology.

An ideology, according to Merriam-Webster, is a systematic body of concepts; a manner of thinking characteristics of an individual; integrated assertions, theories or aims. So basically, it’s all of the ideas that pop into your head when you think of a certain subject, or genre, in this case. When thinking of SDSU and genres in the same sentence, I automatically think of academic writing because that’s the kind of writing that I do most of the time. Devitt states that “when writers take up a genre, they take up that genre’s ideology. If they do it unawares, then the genre reinforces that ideology.” (339) <<< That is basically what we do all the time which is why we have genres in the first place, I guess. No one even thinks about what they need to do when they encounter a specific genre, they just do it. This in turn completely backs up the genre’s ideology and sets it in stone, so to speak. For example, when I write an academic essay, I know that the reason I’m doing it is 1) for a grade, 2) for a grade, and 3)…for a grade. No, but seriously, in order to get the grade that I want, I better write that essay for the gods! Academic essays serve the purpose of seeing if the student follows instructions and does what is asked of them by their instructor (like formatting and prompts). I also makes sure that the student is able to understand ideas as well as convey them through rhetorical strategies, and research. You don’t write an academic essay with the intent of selling a story, as you would if you were writing a fictional narrative.

Another genre we all use…texting. We do it every day. This is another genre that comes with its own ideologies. There are many purposes of texting. Maybe you need to talk to someone but you just don’t wanna hear their voice, maybe you can’t talk on the phone because the time is inconvenient, or maybe you just know that the person you might be texting is long-winded and you can just stop texting back if you don’t want to continue the convo…then say your phone died. I’m kidding! Mostly. Who knows why we text? However, the sole purpose is so that you can talk to someone without actually having to call them. When we text, we don’t think about writing academically, or grammar, or punctuation. Well, the punctuation thing is really subjective because I definitely use punctuation when I text. Anyway, we try to keep it short and sweet. Sometimes, words aren’t even used, just emojis. The point is that the ideologies associated with this genre are clear as day. No one goes to write a text, or open one for that matter, expecting to see a 5 paragraph essay.

Admittedly, I’ve never heard of teaching critical genre awareness, so all of this is pretty new. I had begun to read the article prior to class yesterday and confused isn’t even the word for what I was. I was 5 pages in and had no clue what I was reading. It became one of those moments where you end up reading one particular paragraph like 10 times and still don’t understand. I did make significant progress though! Albeit, it was after I read the Teaching Critical Genre Awareness blog…but that’s not the point. After finally reading Devitt’s article, however, I do understand the necessity behind it. Being aware of genres allows for better understanding of the ideologies attached to the genres as well as helps to influence the way you think, communicate or approach a certain genre (347).

Introduction Time!

Hey everyone! So, as you can see at the top, my name is Maiya Crow. My first name is pronounced my-uh for all you Curious Georges out there. Most times, when people see my name for the first time, they think it has a different pronunciation because of the mysterious "I" living in the middle, but I assure you that it sounds just like the ancient civilization. You wouldn't believe all the ways people have gotten it wrong. Anyway, enough about my name and more about the person behind it!

I was born and raised in Los Angeles, California and only moved to San Diego for college. SD is only 2 hours away and I figured it was far enough, yet close enough to home. Usually, when people say they are from L.A. they are no where near L.A., or just mean L.A. County...because that place is huge, but I'm actually from L.A.-- it's the City in my address. Technically I am from South Central, Los Angeles and when I tell people that, they never have any idea where I'm talking about so I just say "Oh, you know the area around where USC is," and then the light bulb goes off. 

If you guys haven't guessed already, I'm sort of a rambler so forgive me in advance if I keep going on tangents. Back to me! I am a 20 year old Interdisciplinary Studies major in Public Health, Child and Family Development, and Psychology and I have absolutely no clue as to what I want to actually do after I graduate. However, I've been told countless times by many different people that it's fairly normal to be clueless in college so I am slightly mollified. Only slightly though because this is the third time I have changed my major. I love children though (hence the CFD) and over the summers and winters I work as a camp counselor for a park and recreation center for the City of L.A. I had been going to the park for years and even volunteered in high school and it kind of just turned into a job. 

I am an only child to a single mother and it's pretty much been that way since I was 6. I have a huge family though so I've never been lonely. My maternal grandparents have 15 children in total (my grandma was married once and my grandaddy was married twice before they got together and they adopted some children so...) and subsequently I have a ton of aunts, uncles and cousins. There's a ton on my dad's side too!

Coincidentally, this is not my first blog! Surprising right? I actually started a pretty girly blog about nail polish and nail decorating about one week prior to the start of this class, which is also on Blogger. Anyway, I'm sure you can tell by the aforementioned pastime, my hobby that gets the most love is polishing nails. mine and whoever else will let me do theirs. It is truly an addiction. I have never been the sporty-type girl but I do love to go on the occasional hike. My second favorite hobby is baking random things from Pinterest pics that just look good. Although, Pinterest recipes aren't necessarily the best (just FYI). I also really like to eat, so finding new restaurants on Yelp with my roommate is kind of a regular occurrance. 

As for personality qualities, I'd like to think that I am a pretty amazing person, all jokes aside, complete with humility.  On the scale of intro/extrovert-ism I am a bit of both. Probaly more on the introverted side though, so a good 75:25 ratio respectively.

 I've been told that I'm sassy, maybe even a little on the blunt side sometimes but that just makes me who I am and I wouldn't change a thing! I hope that you all will get to know me better and I am looking forward to getting to know you all as well. Have an awesome rest-of-the-semester everyone!